Let's Get Married --- Korean Style

This isn't really my friend, but look at all the fog!

Recently I got to see a close Korean friend of mine gracefully walk down the aisle and marry her loving husband. As I watched smoke from the fog-machine waft around her while she prepared to cut her LED and dry-ice cake, I realized that I definitely needed to write a blog post about all of this.

So ladies and gents! Start your watches and grab your wallets, it's time to get married in Korea!

1. Find that spouse!

No... I'm not desperate. Don't look at me like that!

Of course you need someone to actually marry, but in Korea that task comes with a twist. Time is not in your favor! Generally it is viewed that once you have hit 30 years old you become 'expired goods' (for women in particular). Furthermore, that 30 is based on the moon calendar!! Which really only leaves you 28 years of your sun calendar life to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. So readers, it's time to get crackin!!

2. Location

So now that you have found your victim, it is now time to bind together for all time (or maybe not as the divorce stats show). But where shall you wed? Don't make it too far from your relatives or you may find yourself paying for every distant relative under the moon to take a bus to get to where you are. So once you've settled on the city you'll then need to choose the venue, and for that you'll have 2 lovely choices:

Well didn't you say you wanted to be a princess for a day?

a) Wedding Halls

These are generally on the cheaper end of venues, but run the risk of giving you the fast-food version of a ceremony. At McWedding Halls, you may just see a bride and groom's head popping out at the end of the aisle as they wait for your short ceremony to end. Not all Wedding Halls are like this and you can have your prince/princess perfect wedding if you're willing to put down the money.

b) Hotels

Numerous hotels have entire sections dedicated to weddings. And boy, they can be lavish! They'll offer you packages that include flowers, food, private rooms, dresses, makeup, and even camera men. Of course, it won't be cheap! I hope $50,000-$80,000 is the price range you're looking at, because with a hotel wedding your fairy tale walk comes with a sexy price tag.

Grrrawwwrrrr! Truuueeee... loooovee...

3. The Goodies

So now that the location, food, and clothing are set, it's time for the fun stuff.Check out what you'll be getting because you're now in Korea!

a) Photoshoot &  Personal Papparazzi

While we can't all have our nuptials immortalized by a zombie attack, you can have your own 7 hour photo shoot complete with 10 different gowns and multiple set changes.This guarantees picture perfect joy no matter how much of an ogre face the camera gives you.

One of the many sets my friend posed in front of (although my friend isn't pictured)

 You'll also have a photographer for the actual ceremony. But this photographer won't stand on the sidelines like a chump! He'll be in front of you as you walk down the aisle, underneath you as you cut the cake, and on a chair taking aerial shots as you read your vows. He'll take so many photos of you that you'll be guaranteed to look perfect! And your guests will have the delightful task of trying to cut him out of their shots. Just call it a game.

b) Personal Makeup Artist

This person isn't *just* a Makeup Artist. No my friends, they are so much more. That person will be shadowing you during the entire wedding and will have the task of making sure you look perfect all.the.time. He/She will make sure no tears smudge your makeup and no movement that ruins the majestic flow of your gown. So a romantic moment or two might be traded off for the perfect face because that makeup artist has decided those tears of joy ruin the makeup. But remeber, your friends will  be jealous of all your dazzling photos.

4. Finishing Up

Now you're done the initial ceremony!! After the wedding you will probably have to have a private ceremony with the parents wearing traditional dresses (Hanboks). You will need to bow before them and possibly give them a monetary or food offering. But once you've done this, you're free to go on your honeymoon!~ So place your arms in a heart position because you're officially married!

Now for a moment of seriousness...

At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is the person you end up with. All cultures have differing traditions and the one I've covered (in a silly way) in this post is a fusion of West and East. Every wedding is different and differs greatly based on one's financial ability. Generally, weddings in Korea cost around $60,000. But keep in mind, in Korea, a wedding also celebrates the joining of families so a lot of money goes into that union. If you are interested in reading more, Korea4Expats gives a decent rundown. As for photos, I felt that Kimchi Ice Cream gives a good idea of what a typical wedding looks like. And for a bit more of an opinionated post, you should check out Roboseyo.

The Demilitarized Zone (Visiting the Border Between South & North Korea)

The blue building in the center is the Freedom House

Visiting DMZ was very important to me because of my grandfather's service as a part of the UN after the Korean War. I wanted to better understand him. But before I go on, it's important to know that Koreans are not allowed to go to DMZ (unless they have special permission), and can only view North Korea at a place called Imjingak (which is really just a lookout post and doesn't allow anyone to actually touch North Korean soil). This is partly to deter defectors, partly to maintain citizen safety, and also due to laws passed by NK.

Where we were being monitored

I took a tour with the JSA (American Military) because the information and access is better than other tours. The tour started at 8am (ugh) and was led by a beautiful tour guide who took this job in order to learn English (double ugh, as we got to hear words like 'Barb wire' be pronounced as 'Bubble Ile"). We went straight to Camp Bonifas, where we were briefed on the history by perhaps the fastest speaking man in the world. Then we took a separate bus and drove along the grounds whilst hearing tales of deers getting blown up by the surrounding mines.

The Bridge of No Return (Instagrammed)

We started at the Freedom House, where we were able to see where important officials had come together in order to form treaties and make other important decisions. While the tour was being given, we could see NK soldiers watching us through binoculars and we were warned that they were photographing us. We were then able to step on NK soil (cement) for a few minutes.

The JSA tour guide then led us to the Bridge of No Return. When the cease-fire was signed after the Korea War, prisoners of war were given the choice of remaining in the country they were captured in, or crossing over the bridge knowing they could never change their minds.

Propaganda Village (Instagrammed)

The next stop brought us to a lookout tower. This tower allowed us a view of Propaganda Village. After the war, SK and NK both built villages in view of each other to try to entice citizens to defect and come over. To live in the SK village is considered a great priviledge. The citizens are given tax cuts and great amounts of land. But this comes with many restrictions, including a curfew. Propaganda Village in NK is completely empty, except for the people who periodically come in to repaint the windows and homes. At the center of the village is the largest flag in the world, a remnant of a competition between SK and NK on who could built the largest flag. This battle to best each other also brought about a rule restricting the heights of buildings.

After the lookout, we were handed back to our  guide and taken to the public areas of DMZ. We went to another high outlook, which allowed us a view of trees and random farms in NK (woot). There was a line painted on the platform which we were not allowed to cross, which made for a fairly dull place to visit.

A photograph showing the discovery of one of the tunnels

We then headed to our last place on the tour, the Third Tunnel. We visited an interesting museum that looked at the history of the tunnels built by the NK underneath the border. Although they deny it, an unknown amount of tunnels have been built and only 8 have been uncovered by SK. The 3rd Tunnel is open to the public, and allows you to put on a dashing hardhat and proceed down a steep tunnel for 15 minutes, then along a flat cramped portion for another 15 minutes. At the end you can view one of the walls built by the SK to block the tunnel. The entire experience is fascinating and truly tests ones ability to deal with tight spaces 73 meters below ground. Then another test on your thighs as you make the climb back up while trying to stifle your loud breathing.

At the end of the tour we were treated to a nice lunch with about 40 elementary students. We ended up being pretty lucky because our tour guide was able to sell us some NK beer which had been banned. The beer was much better than the chemical North Korean Blueberry Wine I got in Imjingak. I tend to prefer my alcohol to not taste like it had been flavored with cleaning products.

The whole experience meant a lot to me (as you may be able to tell by this enormous post), and I felt like I had been given the chance to understand my grandfather just a little bit better. I recently found his memoirs on Korea and he experienced some terrible and amazing things. He really loved Korea, as I have come to as well.

An Ode to Violence & Destruction

Frosh week at my university was straight out of a movie. My friends threw TVs from a 4th floor balcony, a house burned their couch in the front lawn, and some guy smashed a cop car's window. Awesome! Even the neighboring city's radio station host simply said "Well that's Frosh Week for you!" (In French). Isn't it amazing how that destruction just gets a shrug and a chuckle!

In Korea, not only would these drunken shenanigans not be likely to occur, but even the idea would probably not enter a Korean's mind. Before I continue, I should say that I realize what I've said is a massive generalisation and I'm not intending to write an article meant to point fingers or criticize actions. This article is about how my mind has changed concerning drunken destruction. To continue, Koreans certainly get into drunken fights and their reasons for the fights are no different than ours. But, in general, when they get drunk there's no sudden interest to smash something or spray paint a wall. (Although passing out in random places seems to be a popular activity) Whereas my Frosh Week would have been subpar if I had not been able to watch at least one drunk guy mooning a passing car and almost fall into it. In fact, it seems the most extreme reaction to an intense night on the town is passing out on the street.

So why is there such a difference?

Korea is a homogeneous society with a history influenced by confuscionism. In confuscionism, people are taught to listen to their elders and respect authority. On the other hand, western history has created a more questioning society due to a history that included many moments of fighting for social liberties and overhauls of large government powers.

I believe that this has formed two very distinct schools of thought that has influenced how we act while drunk. Westerners are more likely to have rebellious nature and revel in a chance to break some minor rules. (As we have been taught that at times breaking rules and questioning things is necessary and even good for us. House Hippo!) Koreans are less likely to become destructive while intoxicated because it's just not a part of their social conditioning as it is in ours.

While I'm not the wildest drinker in the world, I've grown up thinking that a bit of spray paint or broken glass is just a part of a great night out. It isn't malicious or meant to particularly hurt others, but just a result of drinking. This may sound simple, but Korea has taught me that just because we may be drunk, it doesn't mean that we should suddenly have an urge to break or vandalize something. It isn't the alcohol bringing that out of us. And I believe that our social assumption that these things happen because 'kids are being kids' or as a part of a wild night out, is wrong.

In fact. It's just dumb.

Pollution & My Princess Body

            

So I recently bought some whitening cream for the spots on my skin. I had always imagined myself buying that sort of cream while I was in my forties frantically trying to maintain my trophy wife appearance. But instead I’m trying to erase the damage done by pollution (and less than healthy eating) in Seoul. It's become apparent that growing up as a Canadian (and surrounded by pristine lakes and fluffy wildlife) that I have had no idea what true pollution does to a person.

Figure A: She may look happy, but I'm sure not

                  My most recent reaction to Seoul pollution started with little sun spots on my face. Initially I thought they were freckles brought on by the sun, but they never seemed to fade during cooler weather. So now my face looks somewhere between my grandmother's hands and this nicely photoshopped lady (Figure A).

                  Living in Seoul has been rough on my body. It seems like every season has a new problem waiting for me. During my first summer, I ran into acne for the first time in my life (middle school was kind to me). This summer I had my first large case of some sort of dermatitis on my hands. Of course I somehow managed to get my hands into contact with some potent glue and caused some damage to my fingers (which will eventually go away?). 

                  Sadly, most of the damage has been dealt to my lungs. I now have experienced breathing problems that have ranged from pain in my lungs to an assortment of throat and nasal issues. At times I have been barely able to sleep due to coughing fits caused by a season change. During the winter and spring, I constantly have the symptoms of a cold (congestion & sore throat), but never an actual full blown cold. And the most frustrating part? These issues all seem to have a month-long life. Acne? Let's enjoy that for a month! Coughing so badly that you can't sleep? A month full of fun!

   But what really frightens me the most about the pollution is not the permanent haze around Seoul, but the ‘Yellow Dust’. Yellow Dust is a natural phenomenon during spring, when the spring winds pick up the sand from the Gobi desert (west of China), then blows the sand across China, through Korea, and past Japan. Because of the massive amount of pollution over China, the Yellow Dust picks up particles of toxic chemicals and toxins which not only hurt people, but damages buildings as well. There is nothing quite like seeing yellow clouds and seeing them so low that they block out half of the buildings. A literal yellow fog of poison. 

                  It’s frightening, and I can't imagine seeing my country dealing with the same things. Canadians may learn about pollution through government commercials (House Hippos!) and science, but we’re lucky enough to be ignorant to the subtle damage from pollution. Needless to say, when I get home I’ll be sure to get my porcelain skin back, but I sure as hell will try my best to take care of my country.

Lantern Parade in Seoul

Every year Seoul celebrates Buddha's birthday with a huge parade and festivities. Actually it is also a national holiday, which is pretty awesome considering that they also take a day off to celebrate Jesus's birthday as well.

The Seoul lantern parade is massive!! It lasts about two hours and just about every group in the city is represented. From hospitals to city sections, there are usually at least 50 people in each group. All of the lanterns are handmade and have a candle lit within them, and they're handed out to people in the crowd at random (including yours truly).

There are of course larger ones that use LED lights. Two of them (a Turtle Warship & a Dragon) even had fire come out of them. It was a very neat parade, although sitting (or standing in order to take photos) for 2 hours is a bit much for this parade. If you have a chance to go, head out 2 hours early to grab a seat on the second floor of a cafe.

The following day there was a street taken up by activity tents. Within them you could make learn how to make lanterns, prayer beads or other types of traditional Korean crafts. Many of these crafts were for free, although a few were for foreigners-only. This is partly because often some of these activities are done by Korean children in school. It's a great experience for any visitor to Korea!